Monday, July 16, 2018

a month

Who would have thought that these two delinquents would ever have a baby, let alone be responsible enough to keep that baby alive even a month?

And yet, here we are. We have managed to keep our son alive for a month and I'm not entirely sure how. But man are we glad that we have. And since I'm such an expert now, here are 6 ways to tell if you are a new mom besides the obvious "I watched a human come out of me" thing:

-you can only remember the last time you went to the bathroom by tracking when your child took his last nap, and even that isn't always reliable.
-you try to paint your fingernails because "happy mom means a happy baby" but you run out of time before the baby calls for your attention really he just wants the boob. You fully acknowledge that you've committed a fashion faux pas but just don't have the heart to either take off the polish you've already applied or find the time to finish the other hand. So you're now going on a week and a half of one hand being manicured and the other not.
-you've taken more naps using your nursing pillow than you have with your actual pillow.
-your clothes are always wet. Whether it's urine, spit up, poop, or your own breast milk, you haven't been completely dry since the babe was born.
-you not only change newborn diapers all day, but also your own. That is all I will say on the matter.
-you cry while rocking your baby to sleep because your heart is so full and you never thought it could be this good.

Hans Fitzroy Williamson

You are loved. 


***You guys, pregnancy was NOT for me. Hormones reigned supreme I was a grouch ball for 9 months, and there were some dark, difficult times. I dreaded labor and resented the loss of my physical abilities. I was convinced I wasn't cut out for motherhood. Now, it's still tbd if I'm actually cut out for this, but in case you're reading this and pregnant and not feeling super hot about it, just know that actually having the baby beats being pregnant 1,000 to 1. At least it does for me. I could say all the cliche things that are supposed to make you feel better, but I won't because they didn't ever make me feel better either. The only thing that made me feel better was finally meeting this little guy. I hope the same for you. ***

Tuesday, June 12, 2018


Happy due date.

My maternity pants are too tight.

I'll leave it at that.

peace and "yes I'm still pregnant and here at work."

Wednesday, June 6, 2018


5 pieces of advice on interacting with a grossly pregnant woman:

- Do not call her "grossly pregnant."
- Do not tell her to get her sleep now. She understands that you mean well, and that sleeping will be even worse once there is a baby to take care of, but at 39 weeks of pregnancy sleeping is close to impossible. Telling her to sleep is like a slap in the face.
- Do not tell her about all of the people you know who had their baby early. Most pregnancies last the full 40 weeks, if not longer. This is the norm. Do not tell her of all the exceptions to this rule. Do not tempt her with stories of babies coming within the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, because she will then start to think that maybe her baby will come a little early. Thinking this makes the last month of pregnancy...unbearable.
- Try not to look at her belly. It's hard. Basically impossible. But try not to, especially when she's a stranger walking by you in Target. She's already well aware that it exists.
- If you are her husband, do not tell her that you hope she doesn't go into labor yet because you aren't ready. She is ready. And she will consider it the pinnacle of cruelty that you hope she stay in her current state any longer.

And now documentation of our lives.

Utah needs a Raisin Cane's. All in favor?
This location is full of college kids and we kind of  feel like we still fit in. But then I am reminded that I'm old when I try to bend over to eat a fry and am stopped by my 9 month pregnant belly. Hashtag wake up calls.

We are officially no longer associated with our old apartment. Sing praises. Although remembering the times and growing we did there brought my sentimentality to the surface.

Someday we'll be road bikers.

And then we started playing around with Harry's remote photo taking ability from his watch. Pretty, I know.

peace and stretch marks


Tuesday, May 29, 2018


My due date is exactly 2 weeks from today, and the major accomplishment of the week is I officially passed Harry in weight, even after he had eaten a serving of cheese curds, fries, and a burger with pulled pork and 3 onion rings on it. The thing was basically the same size as our baby.

We know that I have 2 pounds on Harry because he likes visiting the OBGYN probably more than I do, and decided to take advantage of the scale in the room right after me. He also likes to browse the magazines placed around the office, supposedly "looking for crosswords to do." 

But really he was checking out the diaper bags.

We got new rugs, and I managed to kind of clip my toenails, which is more exciting for me than it should be.

I have been very fortunate for a completely normal pregnancy. There has not been one time that the doctors said they were worried or concerned - even after we got in a car wreck. This little guy is a trooper, but I am ready for him to troop on out of me. If you know of any natural ways to encourage this, send them along. My sister in law climbed peaks at this point in her pregnancy. I'm hoping there's a certain type of chocolate I can eat that'll do the trick instead. 

peace and heat waves
a month and a half ago we were in a blizzard. this weekend we rivaled phoenix with our high temperatures. what is this place, and why did people ever settle here.


Wednesday, May 16, 2018


Does being pregnant make you more clumsy? Or are you just more aware of your clumsiness? Because while it was easy to pick up a dropped hair elastic 9 months ago, it is now a feat of strength and acrobatics that leaves me out of breath and my heart racing. And it seems that gravity has increased its strength around me lately maybe it's matthew mcconaughey communicating to me from the future. I've dropped the clock, knives, adapter plugs, mascara, clothes, vitamins, vitamin bottles, vitamin bottle caps, keys, pens, pads, clippers and have missed the garbage can about 87% of the time I try to throw something in there. Each time the ground seems further and further away, and I have resolved to never take the ability to bend for granted again.

So for those of you who are not pregnant, go do some yoga just because you can.

I think the most enjoyable part of this stage is seeing how excited and prepped Harry is getting. I usually try to not be too cheesy when I can help it, but it's warmed my already very warm because i'm basically carrying a little space heater in my belly all the time soul to hear him plan out the most efficient way to the hospital for each time of day. I try to remind him that I will most likely be in labor for hours, if not days, and that we will have plenty of time to get there. He knows, however, that I will not be as calm and rational when it is actually happening. His preparations are extremely valid.

Meanwhile I fuss over whether a eucalyptus or lavender wreath would smell better and help rid our apartment of cardboard odors. It's just priorities really.

Also, does anyone want to teach me/learn how to make a wreath with me?

Harry learning the important lullabies. Strangely they are all by The National. The little guy is going to have good taste in music. 

peace and 13.1
he's officially signed up for a half! i'll be eating a donut at the finish line. 


Wednesday, May 9, 2018


This week I saw my belly button in my shadow, got heartburn from eating Sweet Heat Skittles, officially pulled all my sandals out of storage, and moved apartments. I probably read most definitely have lifted things I shouldn't pillows...because I can't lift my arms without my back seizing up.

This week we also woke up to birds chirping out our window, enjoyed a nice breeze winding it's way through our apartment, had a rooftop rendezvous with friends, ate homemade Cafe Rio courtesy of other friends, had our car insurance premium go down significantly by moving out of our sketchy neighborhood, and I discovered that one of my non-maternity dresses could still work with my maternity body. score. unless i unknowingly bought and wore a maternity dress all through college. which would really just be another score.

The second picture looks like I legitimately just have a basketball under my dress. Also thank you to our dear friend for taking the only pictures we have so far while being pregnant.

We've taken a few hits lately, and it's getting a little harder to hoist ourselves back up each time. Nevertheless, we persist and conquer, mostly thanks to good people in our lives. bless you bless you bless you all.

peace and suburb life

Monday, April 30, 2018


Over the weekend Harry and I drove about 40 minutes south of Minneapolis in order to visit the new- and only- Costa Vida in the state. I will never say that Costa Vida is as good as Cafe Rio, but it was still a taste of the west, and I greatly appreciated it.

After dining on sweet pork, I excused myself from the table with my currently most used phrase of life ..."I need to go to the bathroom." As I crossed the room, weaving in between the colorful tables and chairs, a younger guy saw me approaching. He proceeded to drag his chair as close as possible to his table, sucking in his stomach and holding his breath, to give me every possible inch of space to pass behind him. There had previously been about 3 feet of room for me to walk through, but I smiled and thanked him for his consideration, wondering if I actually looked like I was as wide as a refrigerator. Harry and I laughed for a good 5 minutes about the entire encounter.

So that's where I'm at. I have reached the point where people are so astounded by my size that I might as well be howling out "FEE FI FO FUM!" as I lumber around gorging myself on cheese smothered pork burritos. And I've still got a month and half left. partying partying.

Now let's take bets on whether our baby is bald like Harry was or a sassafras like me. I'm hoping for both. 

peace and braxton hicks
all day, every day. 
but not like scarily all day. just regularly occurring at normal and well spaced intervals all day.