Oh. Will you look at that? You thought this thing had died long ago. Well, so did I. Nevertheless, here we are. My sincerest salutations.
A month ago I went from single to eternally taken. It was fabulously fun day, thanks mostly to the family and friends that set up, cleaned up, and showed up. We had a blast. Thank you all. Some people say that your wedding day is "the perfect day" and I get what they mean. But really, it wasn't perfect. I mean, an 84 year old man from my parents neighborhood literally picked up our wedding cake and walked away with it. ok, so that was rather excellent. But we were late to get to the temple, left our wedding license in the car, had majorly sweaty hands the whole time...
I'm not trying to diss our bliss, because it was one of the best days of my life.
But it wasn't perfect.
You know what else isn't perfect? Marriage.
It would be difficult to guess that marriage is hard based on the perfectly lighted, cropped, and filtered photos that permeate all social media outlets. Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Snapchat show what your home should look like, what crafts you should be doing, how organized you should be, what recipes you should have memorized, what adventures you should be on, what items you should be owning at what time in your life, or how to show your love for your spouse in a way that's cuter than everyone else. And you're supposed to do all this while delightedly trying to figure out how the heck to be married.
I lived in a society where it was semi-believed that once you got married, everything else would fall into place. The focus was marriage, and it's a great focus. But there's a whole lot more than "then comes the baby in a baby carriage." So, in the midst of all the "perfect" looking marriages, I'm happy to provide a reality check.
I have yet to bake cookies. There are still unpacked items in our front room, We have pictures and posters that haven't been hung up leaning against the wall. We own more than three books, a succulent, and a bird sculpture, so our home looks nothing like Pinterest. We don't make our bed everyday, or own an entire flock of sheep skin to drape over every surface. The chicken last night was dry. We disagree. We fight. Harry's ring got scratched the first day back from our honeymoon. The car is a mess. We missed our temple appointment yesterday. We eat all of the donuts as soon as we buy them. I don't pack myself cute little lunches. We don't communicate very well all the time. We unknowingly say things that hurt each other. We're late a lot. There are shoes in every major walk way of our home. in reality, there's only one walk way in our home. I haven't changed my name yet. We haven't got the car registered yet. We fight. You guys, we fight.
But we also forgive. We apologize. We comfort. We pray. We laugh. We hike. We make each other chocolate milk. We check to see if the other has taken their Claritin. We make trips to IKEA so the other feels like errands are getting done. We discuss. We watch Jimmy Fallon clips. We plan which vinyls to buy next.
So just in case you feel like you're failing, know I've totally been there. And more likely than not, everybody has. We all just need to keep doing our best. So you bring us cookies and we'll show you the most cringe-worthy moments of the GOP debate.
Marriage is not perfect.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
But that's why it's so rewarding.
peace and "Please no, Trump!"