charley bit me

No, not this Charlie.

This charley comes sneaking in at night while I sleep. I don't see him coming until it's too late. I immediately wake up, sit straight up in my bed, gasping-sometimes yelling-and pleading for it to stop. I stretch, press, massage, and punch until it subsides. This reaction often brings surprise and worry to my roommates, who wake up to my thrashing. It ends, I go back to sleep, but the next morning I can feel exactly where it was. My entire muscle is sore and on occasion a bruise blooms up in the following days.

It's rainy and windy and I'm walking with a limp.

Type of day to stay in bed.

art

Made by yours truly.

Chicken Watch

Last weekend my family went and saw "We Bought A Zoo" at the Logan dollar theater. (dollar theater: that's where it's at and how we roll) It was an entertaining and touching movie with a good story, good acting, and a GOOD soundtrack. no, like really. go listen to it. then come back and finish reading. We had some good laughs as we realized that the shirt Matt Damon wears in one of the scenes when he's working with the tigers was the same shirt my brother, Spencer, had to wear to the Priesthood session of General Conference because he forgot his Sunday clothes. ok. maybe you had to be there.

It's a little bit difficult to see but Spencer had to wear all of my dad's clothes. They were huge on him. He looked like a little kid. 

Anyway, the bottom line is that we had a good time.

Apparently some more than we realized.

Here I am, one week and one day after seeing this movie, a member of a family that proudly owns 6 chickens and a pony. My mom decided that if she couldn't move to a farm in the country, she was going to bring the farm to her. This is the most exciting thing to happen to our family since Caroline was born. Maybe even more exciting than that. jokes, jokes. you know I love you Caroline.

So while my Easter was full of lovely music, delicious food, family, and egg dye, it also consisted of these adorable little things.

I love that my mom has ambitions, goals, and hobbies that aren't necessarily typical. She's always up for trying new things and shows initiative in pursuing those goals, whether it's a remodeled house, an art project, a backpacking trip, a home in Logan or Montpelier, running a 5K, planning art festivals at the neighborhood school, participating in an 80 mile bike ride, writing and directing plays, adopting kittens for a month, joining a yoga class, housing foreign exchange students from Asia and Brazil, owning her own flower shop, running a preschool, or buying chickens and a pony. When she puts her mind to an idea, that idea becomes a reality.
I love it.
I want to be that way too.

But for now I'm going to focus my mind on getting through finals. And figuring out how to get the AC in our apartment to work. It's a blasted 78 degrees in here. And it's only April...

Something smells...

Things happen that offend and hurt. They leave you confused and wondering at the actions and intent of the people around you. These things can make you feel foolish and vulnerable and in a last attempt at preserving whatever dignity you feel you have left, you desperately grab at any imperfection you can find (or imagine) in the person that has wronged you. After grabbing onto this perceived or made up imperfection you hold it tight and revisit it often in order to convince yourself that your feelings of bitterness are justified. And all along the way people tell you that you are entitled to feel this way. All along the way you tell yourself that you are entitled to feel this way. You are entitled to harbor resent, malice, hurt, confusion, and disdain verging on the point of hatred.

It’s ok to feel this way.

You’re entitled to it.

The more I think about this the more unattractive such an option seems to me. It’s like saying, “You’ve been sprayed by the putrid smelling stink from this skunk. I’m so sorry. So here, take this skunk - that has now been run over by a car - tie it to a stick and carry it in front of your face for the rest of your life so that your vision will always be impaired and you will continue to smell its wonderful scent. You’re entitled to it.”

No. 

I’m entitled to learn and to grow. I’m entitled to work at bettering myself and feeling whole. I’m entitled to recognize and be grateful for all the beautiful things and people that surround me. I’m entitled to forgive and be friendly. I’m entitled to take a tomato juice bath to get rid of the stink on my body and to then throw the skunk of resentment far, far away.

And then, after the skunk as been disposed of, I’m left with restored vision and smell. I’m left with the knowledge of how to deal with hurtful situations and come out on the other side better than I previously was. I’m left with friends instead of enemies - the closest of those friends being myself. I’m left with a renewed understanding of the divine, tender, and personal power of my Savior to carry me through.

Life is good, so get rid of the skunk that might be blocking your vision and witness it for yourself. It will take work, but you’re entitled to it.


This says it all much better.