hunger games

Zero sum game: a mathematical or economic situation in which each participant's gain or loss of utility is exactly balanced by the losses or gains of utility of the other participants.

In other words, if you are happy or succeeding, then I am not. And if I am happy or succeeding, then you are not.

And in even simpler terms... There is one donut. If you get the donut then I don't and I am sad and hungry. And if I get the donut, you are sad and hungry.

I'm sure that mathematicians and economists are all shaking their heads in shame at my very basic understanding of zero sum game, but I didn't do so hot in ECON 110 i was distracted by a cute TA before i knew harry existed so just go with it. I'm guessing that there are some actual life situations that are zero sum games - the donut example above, maybe a promotion at work, definitely class rankings in law school eye-roll, and The Hunger Games. But you know what's NOT a zero sum game?

Basically every other piece of good news in the world.

We are not battling each other in a zero sum game of good news. Good news for you does not equal bad news for me, and vice versa. I have found myself falling into this twisted game mentality when I see photos of people traveling. Somehow I end up resenting them for their vacations, blaming them for my lack thereof. Do I wish we were traveling as well? Of course! But are we NOT traveling BECAUSE this couple holding hands and jumping in front of the Eiffel Tower ARE? did you follow my emphases? 

No! We aren't traveling because we've chosen to freeze our eyelashes off in the great white north while pursuing a law degree. Our lack of travel has nothing to do with anyone else and everything to do with poor student life.

The examples of good news being turned into resentment are endless, especially between moms and moms to be. Motherhood and all it entails is an incredibly sensitive subject, close to many tender hearts. It requires consideration for others feelings and as much sympathy as is humanly possible. However, we should be able to share our good news of motherhood- whether about our child's health, our different labor experiences, satisfaction with successful breastfeeding, getting a good night of sleep, or when we manage to get an hour of gym time in - without the fear of being blamed or shamed for it.

Good news should be shared in a tasteful way. If you're bragging and rubbing it in people's faces then stop it because you're wrong. But if you have good news, share it. If you've accomplished something difficult and are proud of it, share it. And if you find yourself asking people to stop sharing their good news because you wish it were your own news, get out of the game. We all know Katniss wins anyway.


peace and sugar
rrww

ps. i promise to post photos on here again at some point.