perspective

It's no secret that living in Minneapolis has been difficult for me, and it's no secret because it's one of the first things out of my mouth in almost every social situation that requires communication this post being my case in point. Before we moved here we had a lot of people telling us how much they loved this place, how they thought we would fit right in, how jealous of this adventure they were etc etc. I guess I kind of thought we were moving to the land of milk and honey when we packed up our Uhaul, and while the midwest does have stupendous dairy products especially when deep fried it just hasn't measured up to what I thought it would be. I'm beginning to think that part of that might have to do with me *eyeroll* oh really rach?

Now, I cannot simply create mountains for us to play in. I cannot will our bank account to be larger, or fast forward time to when we have a brick home, yard and vegetable garden, sheltie dog, and teardrop trailer that we take camping in Glacier National Park. if you can't tell, i take great pride in in my imaginary, future life. I can't do all those things, but I can try to look at where we are with a different perspective - specifically that of my 19 year old sister in law who came to see us this weekend.

She may have just been trying to be nice, but whenever she was presented with something midwestern she reacted with awe and excitement, telling us she was jealous of our lives here and what we have going for us, which stood out in great contrast to my opinion of our current situation.

For example: when I look out of our 18th story apartment, all I see is the lack of patio and grass, and instead the presence of a noisy freeway that prevents us from keeping our windows open if we want to sleep, have conversation, or think. However, she stood and stared out that window for a quarter of an hour, on a few different occasions, commenting on how far she could see, how many lights there were, pointing out the planes that fly almost directly in front of our windows, and how the sky and land seem to stretch on forever. All of which is actually very true of our view.

You see, I keep waiting for this moment of our lives to be over. I desperately want it to end, and I resent everything that happens during this time or makes it last any longer than necessary i'm a real joy to have around. But lately, and especially after this weekend, I'm starting to wonder what I'm missing out on while I focus on the noisy cars instead of looking at the never ending sky.


Images from the weekend.

peace and birkenstocks
got my first pair and i can't stop wearing them

rrww