loling.

There are times when events happen in your life and you have no choice but to laugh. You laugh because if you don't you very well might break down into tears and mess up your makeup which took an unnaturally  long time to do because for some reason you forgot how to use a mascara brush and stabbed your eyeball 4 times while getting ready this morning. Can you all relate to this or are you too busy picturing me weeping black tears out of one eye that's redder than my face after I try to run? Oh, you weren't? But now you are?

Good.

Ok fine. Here's what it looks like. The following was taken almost a year ago when I took a scooter ride up the canyon and a mosquito flew into my eye, blinding me for the rest of the evening. Yes, it felt almost as bad as spearing your ocular organs with a tool of torture meant to make you attractive to the opposite gender.

#nofilter #rosecoloredeyeballs 

DO YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE NOW!? DO YOU!?

don't answer that.

Anyway, being a student, or just a human being in general really, there are plenty of times when my body has said to me, "Rachel, you either need to start sobbing or laughing hysterically. Right now. Because I just don't know how else to react in this moment." For the last long bit of my life I have chosen to laugh, because like, pinterest told me to at one point or something. Plus I mean, can you say ab workout!? go girl. go go gadget. go go superpower rangers. 
for the record: i have no abs in the plural sense. i have one. one ab. which is the result of my addiction to eating cheese tortillas at midnight. but i'm going to stop talking about this because why did i even start talking about this? 

So let's start with what I've already mentioned. You just have to laugh when you poke your eye with a mascara brush upwards of 9 times and try to desperately salvage your appearance for 14 minutes but then just realize that you and your eyelashes do, in fact, look like Yzma from Emperor's New Groove. And you're going to rock that look like there's no other purpose in your life.

*scroll up to previous picture*

The resemblance is uncanny.

Next, you just have to laugh when you finally realize you have never been more confused in your entire life about absolutely everything in your entire life. Future? No idea! Present? Barely making it! Past? I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast this morning! false. it was a poppy seed muffin from costco and was delicious. yay for opium. 
false again. i don't do drugs. back to the point?
I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY LIFE EXCEPT FOR THAT I LIKE TO BRUSH MY HAIR. So maybe I was about to have a slight breakdown in the kitchen last night with all my roommates sympathetically hugging me and rubbing my back and generally just being spectacular people when one of them chimed in with a "Hey, at least your butt looks great."

The breakdown was immediately concluded and all worries forgotten as I collapsed onto the floor in laughter at the utterly perfect timing of her comment. It was perfect.


And last, getting your take home midterm back and seeing your score. You just have to laugh.


So in conclusion you now know much more about my physique than you ever cared to know. Let's be friends? Also, I cannot say, think, or type the word "physique" without thinking of "Mystique." You know, the woman who was naked and blue before Avatar made it cool? And when I think of Mystique I think of Jennifer Lawrence and then I smile because I like her and she's dating the man I'm in love with...which actually doesn't make me smile at all. But I guess it wasn't ever going to work out with me and Nicholas anyway, right?

Those eyes. THOSE EYES!

And now that I've unashamedly participated in "man crush Monday" I cease my pointless rambling and bid you farewell for another fortnight.

peace and eloquence.
i like to pretend i have it despite the contents of this and all other posts.

rrw