secrets of the secretary

today at work i experienced something...unusual.

i was sitting at my desk with my big screen computer and engraved nameplate chatting with my coworker who was chilling on the couch next to the fake orange flower.

then a professor walked up to me.

she put a plastic bag on the counter of my desk, right next to my engraved name plate.

the conversation went as follows:

professor: "i just threw up in that office. i've cleaned it all up and it's in this bag. will you take care of it?"

rachel: ".....uuhhhhhhh....what? i mean, ok, um, ok."

(i slowly reach for the bag)

professor: "it's all in there and wrapped up so you won't get anything on your hands."

rachel: "...ok. um, anything you want me to do with it specifically?"

coworker on the couch: "there's a dumpster outside." (trying to hint to the professor that she could take it herself)

rachel: "ok. ok, yeah, i'll just...deal with it." (closes grasp on plastic bag. can see through said bag and beholds the contents therein) (refrains from gagging) (proud of myself)

professor: (looks down hall, sees garbage can) "oh, there's a garbage can. i'll just go take it."

rachel: "ok. ok, are you sure?" (i am silently willing her to be sure. please. don't make me do this)

professor: "yes. i'll just take it."

rachel: "ok. ok."

the professor left the office. i slowly sat back down, spread my hands on the desk, and stared straight ahead.

coworker burst into a fit of giggles.

i just stared.

giggle.

stare.

giggle.

stare.

finally i turned to look at her.

coworker: "please tell me you're going to blog this."

day in the life. aren't i blessed?

peace and pizookies.