love it or leave it

so i have this thing.

i guess you could call it "state pride."

or "love for utah."

or "my state is better than your state."

i'm sorry...but only kind of

or "defend the honor of the beehive state!"

or "why would i live anywhere else?"

whatever you wanna call it, i have it.

i love utah.

allow me to list a few of the many things everyone should love about this state.

*the mountains: the rockies are in many states, yes, but the rockies in THIS state...

umm...yes,

*the seasons: what do you want? we have it.

*the redrock: just go to southern utah and you will understand.

*the heritage: whether you share their faith or not, you must admit that this state was founded by incredible, strong, faithful people.

*the great salt lake: a remnant of the great and mysterious lake bonneville. i mean, it's like our own little ocean out there for those who prefer spending their time in bad-tasting water to clear, high mountain peaks. but i mean, it's whatever.

i know that comparison to the ocean was a stretch, but like i said, i have this state pride thing BAD.

*the family ties: it seems like almost everyone i know has some sort of relative in utah.

*the olympics: the fact that the ENTIRE world couldn't take their eyes off of this place in 2002 says something about it, wouldn't ya say?

*the snow: our license plates say it best.

and in order for such wonderful precipitation to occur, an extremely necessary ingredient is needed.

what is it? ah yes. allow me to explain.

you see, it's this.

COLD.

now, on a different tangent, but one that will tie in with the above thoughts, i'd like to explain a phenomenon that occurs in utah.

it's call inversion.

when high pressure builds up around the wasatch mountains, it pushes the cold air down into the valley.

while there, this cold air mixes with all our yummy and irresponsible pollution.

now the air is super heavy. 

follow?

this super-heavy cold air has no chance of escaping the valley, what with the with the laws of physics and thermodynamics reminding us that while hot air rises, cold air does not.

so the cold air is left in the valley.

and with snow on the ground, reflecting the small amounts of sunlight that make it through the layer of newly developed "smog," there's no hope of warming the ground.

so it stays cold.

and gets colder.

which is why all our phones say its -1 degree out there.

there are many things to love about utah, one of which is the cold.

it's part of this state.

the thing is, with so much to love, more people keep coming here.

i can't blame them.

but if you're going to come here and drive your car and fly your planes and run your furnace and put all your pollution into the air, then i'm going to have to ask you to stop complaining about the cold.

because just maybe, your pollutants are making it worse.

perhaps this is coming off a little "green" and sounding like a bunch of "hippy talk"

maybe i'll get hired to do a prius commercial

i don't really care if it does. 

i'd be fine with that.

but my main concern is this.

how would you feel if i came into your home, tramping mud and dirt,

breaking things,

using all your toilet paper,

putting silverware in your microwave,

and eating all your oreos,

and then proceeded to criticize you for the fact that your microwave doesn't work.

no?

i don't like it either.

oh, and you're welcome for the crash course in meteorology. 

rrw