Thursday, February 28, 2013

billy goat gruff



first of all, what the heck does "billy goat gruff" even mean?
no seriously, if you know, tell me.

a week and a half ago my roommates informed me that they were snakes.
i had no idea how to respond.
but then they finished their comment with "on the chinese zodiac."
i was relieved. i was not ready to have a bathilda bagshot experience.
hp. book 7. chapter 17.
i mean, that woman is creeeeeeeepy.
but i guess that's not her fault. i mean, voldy totes made her that way.
back to the zodiac

so we looked up the characteristics of snakes on my handy little phone that could basically take a colony of monkeys to the moon and rule over them in fairness, peace, and prosperity because it's just so dang cool and smart and found out a little bit about snakes. 
this is what stood out.

"snakes symbolize such character traits as intelligence and gracefulness."
"snakes are excellent seducers so they never have trouble attracting others. they will be the ones to decide when a relationship has potential and when it does not."
"the next year of the snake is 2013"
congrats guys. you made it.

intrigued by this somewhat accurate description of my roommates i eagerly went to figure out what animal i was according to the chinese.

immagoat.
and this is what it said.

"home and alone is where goats feel most comfortable."
"goats prefer the couch because there they can relax and explore their minds."
"the next year of the goat is 2015"


what.
a series of goat and couch jokes ensued.
so basically i have unofficially been established as the odd yet boring loner of the apartment kind of like merlin in "the sword and the stone" ya know? except he's far from boring and have had to come to terms with my newfound identity as a goat.
baaa?

since then i also discovered that my thoughts and writings helped in the awarding of a dear friend of a prestigious award.
and my inner goat was all like, "yeah, i'm a weirdy and i like the couch but my thoughts and words have power! hear me bleat!"
wait, do sheep bleat and goats bah?
whatever. too much thought on something that doesn't matter.
but i guess that's what makes me a goat.
moving. on.

so i sat down on the couch no but i really did and started brainstorming ok, this is starting to scare me about all the things i could do with my words.
the lives i could change!
the number of followers i could get on twitter
the policies i could enact!
the doughnuts i could persuade people to give me
no no, i mean
the inspiration i could invoke!
are you feeling inspired?

the words of uncle ben no, not the rice bowl guy passed through my head.
"with great power comes great responsibility."

my thoughts went wild.



long story short, i made a cheese quesadilla and read through stephen colbert's twitter feed.
give me a break, my year isn't until 2015.




if you need me, i'll probably be on the couch. 
thinking.

this one's for the goats.


taken in...you guessed it. 
GLACIER


oh my. have you ever seen a happier goat?
probably because he's covered in dirt.
i was that happy when i was covered in dirt.



peace and plants
i CANNOT get mine to grow.

rrw







2 comments:

  1. hey, I'll meet you on the couch. I'm a goat too. Just remember what Joseph and Mary carried in a little linen sack. That's right. Goat cheese. Pretty sure there is no cow cheese mentioned in any Christmas song!

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  2. "immagoat." hahaha you crack me up. Love you Rachy-Rach!

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