that little black dress

First, lemme just say, yesterday was a downright terrible day for me. It started off great with some sleek looking slacks and a flattering sweater. My awkward bangs looked less awkward than normal and my mascara went on with ease only poked my eyeball once. what of it? But then it just went downhill. Like, way downhill. Excluding the conversation I had with the janitor on the majesty of Montana, I just couldn't get myself to a happy place.

Ugh. It's depressing and embarrassing just to think about it.

Fortunately I have been blessed with amazing friends who will listen to me ramble about my hard life... oh my gosh I'm just sick of waiting for them to come home and I only had like, this really good cereal for breakfast and a superb scripture study and I sat there in front of my overflowing closet just trying to pick from all my clothes and it's just so hard. All my friends are great and I love my family and can't wait to see them and I'm just so sad right now...and somehow manage to NOT strangle me.

Once we deduced that I probably needed to eat something other than M&Ms, things started looking up. Things continued to look up as I made my way to a few different stores to run errands and just be by myself.

While running these errands, I came across some finely sewn fabric that I instantly knew I needed to put on my body. Grabbing my size and another in one size bigger because sometimes you just have bad days and you KNOW you're going to need a bigger size. But guess what? That's ok. I barricaded myself in the dressing room before the fleet of high school girls invaded all corners of the store.

As the fabric fell over my head and my shoulders I thought, "Oh, I love the neckline. And the sleeves are perfect!" I quickly noticed how the waistline was in the perfect place for my torso. The skirt had just enough flare that I could eat a good dinner and still be comfortable (which is probably the most important aspect of potential clothing). The delicate black lace was a complimentary contrast to my less than tan skin. The texture was soft and flattering. This was the dress. This was the dress that would make everyone love me!

But then the dreadful happened.
The hemline. 
2 more inches, an inch and a half, maybe even one, and I would have been doing my little "Yeah I found what I want and I feel good and I'm going to buy this little sucker!" dance yes, that actually does happen. But alas. No such dance was to happen in this dressing room because the dress was too short. But not the "hit-you-in-the-face-oh-my-gosh-what-are-you-thinking-it's-way-too-short" kind of short. It was the "you-could-probably-get-away-with-this-especially-in-the-summer-which-is-right-around-the-corner-anyway" kind of short. Which is the worst kind of short.

I rationalized all sorts of terrible rationalizations. other girls wear things much shorter than this to church.
I made the worst sorts of excuses. i should really wear it while i can, right?
I convinced myself that people wouldn't notice. it's not like that much more of my leg is that big of a deal anyway.

But in the end, the fact that I was trying to justify buying it was reason enough to let it go. Such a sad separation hasn't happened since the last time I went shopping and fell in love with a teapot.

Sometimes dressing modest is a struggle. A REAL struggle that is overlooked and discredited. Modesty? Psh, you covered that in Young Women's ages ago. Why should it be that hard to just buy things that cover you up? Well boys, it IS hard. It is hard to sit there, looking at a dress that you love, that makes you feel pretty and confident and appealing, and say no. It takes time, money, and a whole lot of patience to find articles of clothing that are cute and appropriate. It's a struggle that doesn't get easier just because you graduated to Relief Society and go to BYU. It's really, really hard.

I realized that all over again yesterday.

I commend those who don't have such a difficult time with this as I do, and I'm grateful for their examples. I'm grateful for guidelines and standards that keep me protected. I admit that finding cute skirts and shorts that are long enough for these Weiler legs of mine is difficult, but I know it's worth it.

How about we all try to notice and recognize the modesty in others this week, and compliment them for it? I know I certainly will, because dang. It is an accomplishment.

At least I can count on this one being long enough, amiright?

peace and hemlines to the knees

rrw